What Do You Do When A Job Applicant Lists Fellatio As One Of Her Additional Job Skills?

Recently, I've been toying with a little hypothesis of mine. Something to combat, what I feel, is a growing epidemics in today's business world. And that is sluggish productivity. My theory is simple, but I would need an assistant to, well, assist me in conducting the experiment. And that's where Connie Cryer came in.

Once my wife, Jennifer, and I moved to New England, my practice really started to pick up. I was building a substantial practice and there was no looking back. Then I was approached to teach some classes at the local university. I decided to give it a go. I guess I was feeling pretty indestructible. This is when I first started utilizing the help of assistants. My assistants would help me research, compile data, conduct experiments, review clients, and whatever else was needed to continue in my psychological endeavors.

So, on that fateful day, when I was in my home office, easing back and reading through the applicants, there was one in particular who caught my eye. Her name was Connie Cryer.

For the most part, her credentials were pretty standard. She was a grad student at the university. She had done some work in the field. But frankly, it was her resume which particularly caught my eye.

Really, it was quite serendipitous. Right there, listed among her additional job skills was, of all things, fellatio!

After an extended game of phone tag, I was finally able to get Connie on the phone. To my delight, she sounded very well-spoken and appeared to know her stuff. I scheduled an interview for the very next day.

The next day, Connie arrived on time and dressed exquisitely. She wore a very respectable business suit and short skirt, with a white blouse that opened up low but not too low, revealing just enough cleavage to hold ones attention, which I thought highlighted her willingness to slut it up, while exercising just enough discretion. When she first arrived, I have to say, I was a little alarmed by her height, which couldn't have been more than 5 feet, which she attempted to combat by wearing very high heels. Her long dirty blond hair was corralled neatly and her makeup was very slight, very professional. I especially made note of her piercing blue eyes, which seemed to suspend me where I sat.

Connie's demeanor couldn't have been more pleasant. Her attitude reflected that of a very receptive, eager to learn person. To my delight, she was already quite a fan of mine. She was prepared to recite my history in the field of psychology, including my landmark discoveries and published essays on interpersonal relationships and intimacy. I was surprised when she mentioned a seminar I spoke at, when I first arrived in New England, and how she hoped to one day meet me, and if she's lucky, work with me. Sure, it could all be bullshit in order to get her foot in the door, but I was willing to accept her words on faith they were genuine. Cleavage can sometimes have that affect on a person.

"All right, well," I said as the interview was coming to a close. "Let me say, Miss Cryer, you strike me as a very impressive person, let alone candidate for this position. In fact, I'm tempted to forgo my other interviews and offer you the position outright."

"Go ahead. I won't mind." Connie smiled with a quick wink.

I smiled, seriously thinking about it. Especially since there were no other candidates I was considering. "Well. There's the matter of due process. And due diligence. As you start out in this field, especially with me, you will learn that I like to be thorough, and try to cover all our bases."

"Of course." Connie nodded, projecting disappointment.

"Oh, but be of good cheer. You've done extremely well for yourself. And I wouldn't be surprised if I'm calling you late this very day and offering you the position."

Connie lit up and then shot to her feet to shake my hand. "Thank you so much, Dr. Untreu!"

"Thank you, Miss Cryer."

And so, that's exactly what I did. After I shot a round of golf. I made the call and offered Connie the position, to which she accepted immediately, sounding as if she might be jumping for joy.

"Miss Cryer, there is one condition I failed to menion," I added.

"Yes. Anything!" she said, still sounding ecstatic.

"You must be available to start tomorrow. I have a hypothesis I've been anxious to start working on and I simply cannot wait any longer."

"Absolutely, Doctor! Whatever you say. Whatever you want. I will be there."

I choked a bit. "Splendid," I struggled to say.

The next morning couldn't come quick enough. I was thinking about my hypothesis the entire night. The logistics. And if it could even be done. I would know soon enough.

Connie arrived at 8 on the dot. My wife, to my disappointment, hadn't quite left yet. From what I understood, she would be going on a shopping trip to the Lakes Region with her niece, Kimberly, who had been living with us for some time now. Last minute, Kimberly got called into work at the veterinarian clinic. However, there was still a good chance my wife would be going anyway.

Regardless, I told my wife I would be busy working in my office all day and I wasn't to be disturbed. My wife, who might have already been starting to grow tired of me and my work, didn't say much about my request. However, I was pretty sure she'd honor it, either way.

Then I returned to my office, where I had asked Connie to wait.

Connie was wearing a more informal outfit than the day before. A similar blouse and long skirt and boots. Her long, wavy, dirty blond hair was down this time. She was sitting by the window where I had set up two chairs, overlooking the garden outside. I found it to be a peaceful place for my sessions. I sat opposite her.

"Hello, Connie," I said.

"Hello, Dr. Untreu," she said.

"You look very lovely."

"Thank you."

"By the way. I usually have my clients call me Dr. Mosely. I just like the way it sounds better."

"Absolutely. Dr. Mosely."

"Splendid." I opened up my folder. "Now, for my little hypothesis..."

Connie sat up, eager to hear about it.

"The problem is sluggishness. In the work place. Our task is to figure out what we can do to help increase productivity. And so, here's my hypothesis."

Connie listened intently.

"As you know, my specialty is in the arena of intimacy. So, my solution, naturally, is going to be related somehow to intimacy."

Connie nodded.

"And in this situation, what could possibly be added to the equation to remedy all this sluggishness. A little something to inspire workers to press on, and keep working?"

"I'm not sure."

"Think about it. What does a man desire?"

"Women?"

"Certainly. More specifically?"

"Women's breasts?"

"No. It's something that women do. Something to breathe life into an otherwise deflated man."

"I couldn't say."

"Of course you could say."

Connie thought about it. She considered her thoughts. Then, while still looking askance, "A blowjob?"

"Bravo! Give the lady a prize!"

Get The Whole Story